• HOME
  • THE FAMILY TRAVELER’S HANDBOOK
  • ABOUT
  • WORK WITH MARA

Family Travel Blog | Family Vacation Inspiration |The Mother of all Trips

Bringing the world to your kids - and your kids to the world

  • destinations
  • travel tips
  • travel dreams
  • road food
  • ski vacations

Mondays are for dreaming: Flying fearlessly

By Mara

Sky, clouds, and airplane wing

When you travel a lot with kids, and especially when you write about it, it is always family airline travel that elicits the greatest wonder and concern from parents who are less experienced. It’s true that flying with kids can be challenging, for all of the reasons that flying has become challenging generally – security hassles, small seats, unexpected cancellations, overcrowded flights, crabby fellow passengers. All of this is amped up when you’re responsible not only for yourself but for a companion who cannot be reasoned with and who might choose to spend the entire flight screaming.

But I’ve found that the excitement of air travel makes it in some ways easier than long car trips especially now that my kids are a little older. Most kids don’t cry the entire time, and even if they do, it’s a few hours of your life and then you move on. Unless the flight is turbulent, they can get up and walk around and use the bathroom. And even if modern-day air travel is famously devoid of glamour for adults, children (at least my children) don’t know from fancy and are just happy that they can watch a movie inches from their face.

For me the difficulty of flying lies not with my children but squarely with myself. I’ve written before that every time I get on an airplane I go through the stages of grief without truly reaching acceptance. This has been true for me since the very first time I set foot on a plane when I was nine and has only gotten worse as I’ve gotten older. I know some friends who have medical marijuana cards can buy edible weed online and carry those edibles onto the plane, but I’m not sure that’s for me just yet. Although if my fear continues, I might have to consider taking something before I fly because I don’t want this fear to prevent me from seeing more of the world. My friends have told me that I could always take some cannabis products like edibles or even concentrates (see this guide to concentrates) with me to take before I get on the plane. It is something I have considered especially now that it’s the second time I’ve been told it might be able to help me. If I feel anxious beforehand, I could just use the cannabis products to try and reduce my stress and anxiety. I feel better knowing that apparently many airports have amnesty boxes for discarding cannabis products, so I could always bring some to the airport to see how I feel before the flight.


I know that my fear is completely irrational, a beast I can tame but not overcome. It has nothing to do with fact or intellect – I know that flying is safer than driving to the airport. Even then, the fear doesn’t go anywhere, and I can’t even push it away with my thoughts. I’ve been recommended many times to try taking yoga classes by someone who has undergone restorative yoga teacher training so that they can help me deal with my anxiety about this over time and help me get rid of the irrational fear of flying, but I simply haven’t gotten to trying that just yet. Maybe the next time when I fly, I’ll have become a yogi and have finally conquered my emotions.


Now I’m nothing if not stubborn and I have simply refused to let what I know is unreasoned emotion prevent me from traveling. Flying is the most expeditious way to get to many of the places I love, and so I fly. And it’s very important to me that Tommy and Teddy not pick up this burdensome phobia, so I do everything in my power to hide how I’m feeling. Having Matt there helps, since he loves to fly and is genuinely enthusiastic and unafraid. But he’s not always with me and in those instances I do think I’ve given some Oscar-worthy performances. That Tommy is almost eight and doesn’t know how I feel about flying is something of a personal triumph.

So as I prepare this week to fly from coast to coast with both my children (and no husband – we’re meeting him in Los Angeles) I’m dreaming of absorbing some of their excitement and wonder as we take off. I’d love to feel not terror but joy as we soar into that blue sky. I’d like to feel happy that someone is going to bring me a soda and some pretzels. It doesn’t seem like much to ask.

I hope your Monday dreams are less anxiety-ridden than mine! Please feel free to share a link to your own inspiration below, making sure you link directly to your post, not your site’s homepage and that you link back to this post. Questions? See About Monday Dreaming.

Airplane photo courtesy of FS2004 via Flickr.

Filed Under: Airline travel, Dreaming of, Family travel tips

Previous Post Next Post

Comments

  1. Sara Murphy says

    March 29, 2010 at 11:28 am

    Glad I’m not alone in hating to fly. I make about 2 dozen flights each year for a combo of business travel and visiting distant family, and I hate each and every one of those flights. Can’t help but envision all the bad things that could possibly happen, even if statistics are in my favor.

  2. Kara Williams says

    March 29, 2010 at 10:18 pm

    Have you discussed this w/ Travel Savvy Jamie?! We need to start a support group. I have resorted to Xanax in years past (whenever I’d fly alone, soon after kids were born). Last flight alone I tried to channel Jamie’s suggestions (she’s done an intense online/DVD course), but screamed during turbulence anyway. I’m a lost cause. I’m usually okay when flying w/ my entire family, so-so when it’s me and the kids, but if it’s hubs and I just the two of us in a plane, or me alone, forget it. Not pretty. So far, kids love to fly – love turbulence. Crazy children.

  3. Mara says

    March 30, 2010 at 9:22 am

    Sara – I’m with you on the rampant imagination. Kara – I think a support group is a great idea. I’m giggling a bit thinking of all us travel blogging types together on a plane – sounds like none of us would seem all that savvy. Better not to let our readers see us I guess.

  4. NLM says

    October 24, 2011 at 5:49 pm

    Love the title of this post–“fearlessly” is a good goal, anyway. My kids are grown, so I’ll tell you: you WILL survive all those flights, and they will forget every bad thing that happens–so you should, too! Regarding long haul flights (with or without kids), see one of my most popular posts: http://www.50plusandontherun.com/2011/09/why-i-choose-window-seat.html

    And most of all, Stay Happy!

  5. Dave says

    November 10, 2012 at 11:52 am

    I think this site is supposed to be for women or mothers, but I’m a guy and I totally relate to your entry. I hate flying and haven’t done it in 12 years. Haven’t flown to the west coast to my wife’s hometown since I’ve known her. I get shaky and it affects me physically. This trip is in less than a month and we’re taking our 19 month old. Should be interesting. Your post gives me some hope. Thanks.

I'm a family travel expert & award-winning writer who loves to eat. Explore this site and you'll find lots of stories about my adventures, and family travel tips. More about Mara

The Family Traveler's Handbook: Inspiring Families to See the World

Buy the book that is
"packed with enough tips and vacation ideas that even a veteran traveler can learn how to plan, pack, or book their next trip smarter." Jen Leo, LA Times Travel Web Buzz columnist

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Instagram Slider

No feed

As seen in

As seen in

Award-winning travel writing

>

© 2008–2023 Mara Gorman/Mother of all Trips | All Rights Reserved | Terms of Service & Privacy Policy

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.Accept Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT
9
9
SHARES