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True confessions of a road tripping mom

By Mara

07.21.09_Tommy_stickers

So I tallied it up and during our recent road trip we spent close to 49 hours in the car over an 18-day period. Since most of this was done in shifts of six hours or more, I think we can safely say that we earned a gold medal for family togetherness and on-the-road savvy.

I’m sure some of you are thinking so what’s she not telling us? Which is a fair point. I’ve had a tendency to report the happy and educational side of our travels, like sauerkraut balls and lessons about the Underground Railroad. I haven’t dwelt on the truly shameful number of French fries were consumed, both with and without cheese. And although I may have mentioned that the kids had no screens of any kind in the car, it’s not like they were reading Kafka or learning macrame. In fact, I did my best to fill landfills and support the Chinese economy with my purchase of invisible ink activity books.

And of course, the children did run out of the ability to amuse themselves. When that happened, we resorted not to reading fine literature aloud or even audio books but the telling of Scooby stories.

But I’m telling the honest truth that in all those many hours, we had about twenty fussy minutes and virtually no fighting. And we managed to keep our speed between 60 and 63 miles per hour for the majority of the trip. We even took a very successful last-minute scenic detour on the very last leg when it looked like traffic on the Interstate was going to be unbearable. As a result, we tooled most of the way across Pennsylvania on Route 30, stopping at a local brew pub in Gettysburg and basically enjoying the countryside at a slow but pleasant pace (as opposed to sitting in a cloud of heat and fumes on the beltway around Baltimore).

But lest you think that I’m giving myself too many pats on the back or have gotten too high-minded there’s one thing I haven’t shared. One thing that has been a fact of every long road trip my family has ever taken. And it’s not something I’m proud of.

OK, deep breath here. Here’s my deep, dark secret, in two simple words:

Cracker Barrel.

Allow me to explain. I’m pretty sure that the values and politics of this corporation do not match my own and in fact might be in direct opposition to them. To be perfectly honest, I can’t even bring myself to do any research because I’m afraid that if I did I’d learn something that would render me incapable of ever eating in one of these restaurants again. And do you see a link here? I think not. If you feel like calling me a hypocrite, you may do so – I won’t blame you a bit. In fact, I ask no absolution.

But the fact of the matter is that for breakfast (which, I may add, they serve all day), the food is pretty good – some of it is quite good. It is cooked fresh. The service is almost always friendly and the coffee isn’t bad (it isn’t good either – just not bad). And the kids love to stretch their legs while looking around the little store in the front, which is always well-stocked with any number of cheap and tempting toys like a parrot that will magically repeat anything you say to it (for example, “Mommy is a silly head” followed by maniacal laughter). The bathrooms are clean. And I can buy them a coloring book or two and maybe a stick of root beer candy to pull out later when things get a little dicey and one of my children has resorted to covering himself in some of the many, many, many stickers I also purchased.

So what’s bad about Cracker Barrel, other than what I mentioned above? Well I’m never a fan of choosing chain over local. And the CB is particularly offensive because the entire conceit of the company is that they are down-home and folksy in a way that probably has no relation to how life ever actually was. The menu lists items such as The Cracker Barrel’s Country Boy Breakfast® and Uncle Herschel’s Favorite® (note, please, the trademark signs). On offer in the gift shops are episodes of The Andy Griffith Show, The Waltons, and The Beverly Hillbillies. The music playing  over the PA is likely to involve someone blowing across the top of a jug. And the shelves are loaded with overpriced versions of things you can buy at the grocery store like Hershey bars or Coke in special “vintage” containers.

Only in America could we be nostalgic for rural life during the Great Depression – and only here could a savvy company turn that nostalgia into consumer gold. I mean who isn’t a sucker for Hee-Haw lunchboxes and Atomic Fireballs? You just didn’t know you needed them!

And as Teddy observed with genuine surprise and delight in his voice when we walked into our third and last Cracker Barrel of the trip “all the Cracker Barrels are the same!” He’s right – that’s why we stop there, because it’s always consistent. But it’s also why we probably shouldn’t. Because that’s not really what travel is about. And I know better.

But man, do I love their pecan pancakes.

Don’t tell anyone OK?

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Filed Under: Dining out, Eating, Eating on the road, Family travel tips, Kid-friendly recommendations, Road trips

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Comments

  1. Sue (from MT) says

    July 21, 2009 at 7:41 am

    IKWYM about Cracker Barrel and other chains – the familiarity and predictability are so much easier when traveling with kids. As our kids have gotten older, we’ve taught them the joy of finding the small, out-of-the-way local place. Sometimes dinner is delayed as we search, but often we are pleasantly surprised by a local gem.

  2. L. R. (aaustin on MT) says

    July 21, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    hmm … I’ve never been tempted into a Cracker Barrel before. When we (rarely)stop at a chain restaurant during a road trip it is usually McDonalds for their predictable pancakes. I truly dislike the styrofoam containers McD serves them in so I fast in silent protest.

    I enjoyed reading this essay but I think I will push on past CB unless it is an extreme emergency. The false folksy-ness you describe is giving me the creeps.

  3. American in Norway says

    July 21, 2009 at 5:28 pm

    Sigh*** what I wouldn’t have given for a CB … as we were road tripping through Europe the last 2 weeks. Great blog! off to snoop around a bit. : )
    .-= American in Norway´s last blog ..Day 3-4 Tropical Island Berlin =-.

  4. Hayley says

    July 21, 2009 at 7:53 pm

    We’re nuts for local diners, but when we’re travelling State-side, we’ll hit Friendly’s at least once a trip. It’s predictable, from the quality of the food to the quality of the service.

    Gods, when you think of all the amazing things the kids get out of any road trip, a couple of chain restaurants along the way don’t count for much.
    .-= Hayley´s last blog ..Why I love Mondays: The beach and wildlife edition =-.

  5. Debbie Dubrow says

    July 23, 2009 at 8:15 am

    We don’t have Cracker Barrel in Washington – so as far as I’m concerned, it’s local dining 😉
    .-= Debbie Dubrow´s last blog ..Baby’s First Plane Flight =-.

  6. Elizabeth says

    July 23, 2009 at 8:40 am

    My family took road trips from Michigan to Zacatecas, Mexico, from the time I was about 2 until I was around … wait…we still do it. We (two parents, four children and usually another relative or two) didn’t start going to Cracker Barrel until a few years ago so that’s at least a good 24 years and, I’m with you. Maybe it’s not what the trip is all about, but eating a good meal (because you know there is something on the menu that your children will eat) at a chain restaurant sure as hell beats guessing, finding a quaint place with food your kids won’t touch, and having cranky, hungry children in the car. Especially for six or more hours at a time. Here’s to the chicken fried chicken and lemonade!

  7. Corinne says

    July 23, 2009 at 4:48 pm

    This cracked me up! I’ve given up being hard on myself for choosing the least stressful option when on the road – esp. on our last trip which was our first as a family of 4. In a pinch, familiar and predictible beats possibly dirty/bad food any day.

    And I’ve never heard of Cracker Barrel – now I’m curious!
    .-= Corinne´s last blog ..Photo Essay – Baby’s First Trip =-.

  8. Heather says

    July 28, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    I’m so glad I stumbled across this. It’s so good to know that other moms have their weak spots too. I confessed something similar on truemomconfessions.com and was surprised by how many “metoos” I got. Thanks for reminding me again that we don’t have to be perfect at every second to still have the perfect family vacation…now where’s the closest Cracker Barrel.

  9. Amy says

    August 1, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    Classic road trip photo with the stickers! I’ve rarely eaten at a Cracker Barrel, since they’re rare on my coast, but I understand what you mean about caving to a chain every once in a while. We’re that way about Soup Plantation.
    .-= Amy´s last blog ..Slide Rock State Park =-.

  10. Peter West Carey says

    September 11, 2009 at 1:21 am

    From one road tripping parent to another, you have made me far mor eat ease with these type of stops. I know what you’re feeling and I understand the “but we’re going in anyway!” mentality.
    I still never plan on going into a Cracker Barrel! 🙂
    .-= Peter West Carey´s last blog ..Photo Of The Day – Miniature World – Elora Turci =-.

  11. Leigh Shulman says

    May 23, 2010 at 10:57 pm

    I knew it was Cracker Barrel before you even said it. All three of us are huge fans of the place, and we’ve come to know it well from NYC to Pennslyvania across through VA into Tennesee then head south from Memphis through Birmingham to Atlanta and back up to NY.

    We call it our Cracker Barrell tour of the south.

    I have no shame. I do it proudly. We even got one of those talking parrots for Lila (although it lives at my parents’ house).

I'm a family travel expert & award-winning writer who loves to eat. Explore this site and you'll find lots of stories about my adventures, and family travel tips. More about Mara

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