Obviously very little about your time in Croatia turned out as you planned it. What was the biggest surprise for you?

Isn’t how that always is for a mom? I think the biggest surprise was how hard it was to adjust. I’ve been a travel writer for a decade now, and I thought I’d be the one leading my family around. Oddly enough, it was the exact opposite. I had culture shock, jet lag, the bends (not really). But pretty much every made-up travel ailment you can come up with. Meanwhile, my architect husband and my two very young children went skipping off into the mountain meadow, and I didn’t see them until four months later. I’m fairly certain this is because they had no expectations. And I had too many.

One of my favorite scenes in the book is when you arrive in Mrkoplaj to find the apartment yo were to live in unfinished. You felt responsible for your children and guilty that things were so topsy turvy and uncertain. But they ended up being fine that night and the next morning. Do you think this speaks to the ability of children to adapt in new situations?

I put a lot of heavy baggage on myself that whole first week in the village. Iowa is a conservative place, and I heard a lot of questioning about my decision before I left. “Isn’t that the country that’s in a giant war?” Well, yes it was. Fifteen years ago. And now it’s over. But things like that work on your psyche when you’re under stress. So that things weren’t as settled as they are at home made me worry for my kids. Was I a horrible mom to give in to my wanderlust and drag the kids along like this? I don’t know what I was expecting. Of course they’d be unsettled in a different country. And I would, too.

And you know what? They did great. I think we spend a lot of time trying to help our kids have perfect lives. I’m not so sure that’s good for them. My kids really grew and thrived in Mrkopalj because not only did they have challenges there, they had their parents close by to teach them how to deal with challenges. As long as you’re there for your kids, loving them and giving them support and attention when they need it, they can pretty much deal with anything. And couldn’t we say that about humans in general? That’s why travel is the ultimate growing experience. Every moment you get a new thing thrown at you. And funny enough, you deal, and often, you thrive.

It interested me how freedom much children had in Croatia. Did this benefit them? Has it affected them now that you’re home?

We did let them roam the way the kids in the village roamed. They were pretty much in eyeshot of us all the time anyway. It was good for them, and for us. I feel like our generation does more face time with their children than any before us. It’s tough on everyone. Because here’s this mom with a master’s degree who spends her days cleaning up Cheerios and having full conversations with a rear-view mirror. That’s a good thing, yes, because kids rock. But there’s so little separation between kid world and grownup world, I think it hinders the independence of both.

Can you share a bit about the traveling you did after you left Mrkoplaj? What did you see? How did it go?

We were in a compact car with two small children and two antsy adults for three full months. Let me reiterate: Compact car, three months, family of four. Sometimes I can’t even believe we’re all alive and relatively unscarred. Essentially Jim and I made a wish list of cities in Europe we liked, and the kids added to it with things they’d studied with Jim in homeschool. Then we hopped in the car and ticked every single place off the list: Lausanne, Switzerland; south of France; Paris; Lisbon, Portugal; London; all around Spain but especially San Sebastian, Barcelona, Bilbao. It was awesome and awful at the same time! Moving to a new currency, new language, new set of streets every few days is totally exhilarating. On the other hand, you’re doing that in Mommy-Daddy mode, so it’s probably four times as stressful. Or maybe eight jillion times more.

Still: There are so many inside jokes we now have as a family because of that time. And so many memories that are part of our in-house language here. I feel like that road time cinched us together as a family in a way that we’d have to work pretty hard to loosen. We became a team then. Or maybe a troupe of clowns. Either way, that feeling is still with us. And that’s what I’ve always dreamed of in a family.

What was it like to come back to the United States? How did your children adjust?

We were never more grateful to be Americans than we were on that first day home. We live in the greatest country in the world. We really do. And the fact that we were back with family and friends, in a place where we knew all the good deals again and how to get half off at the deli counter at our local grocery, was exhilarating as seeing the Eiffel Tower. As Grant Wood said, “I had to go to France to appreciate Iowa.”

What have you been up to since you came back to the States? Any future travel plans?

The first year was spent with our heads down, working to recover financially. We like to have a savings account built up, so we really focused on that, because you never know when that wanderlust will hit again. We’ve talked about following Jim’s roots, which are really interesting. His people are from a fishing village on the fjords of Norway (how awesome would that book be?) and from the Alsace-Lorrain region of France (training grounds of Thomas Keller; also awesome).

What’s your advice for parents who are planning long-term travel with their kids?

Prepare for baptism by fire when it comes to preparing for the journey. But when you make it through that, you’ll know that your desire to go was pure, and you’ve just earned the most amazing experience of your life. Also, buy Elisa Bernick’s The Family Sabbatical Handbook. I can tell you about the emotional roller coaster of excellence in Running Away to Home, but Elisa will give you logistics. We followed it to the letter.

Purchase Running Away to Home or visit Jennifer Wilson’s site where you can see video and more photos from the family’s trip.

If you’ve ever dreamed about cashing it all in and taking off with the kids, here’s the story of a family that did just that. After losing half their savings in the stock market crash of 2008, Wilson and her husband Jim Hoff decided to upend their comfortable, consumerist life in Des Moines and take a family sabbatical with their son Sam and daughter Zadie, spending a good portion of their time in the home of Wilson’s ancestors, Croatia. And not the increasingly glamorous Croatian Riviera that has recently become a popular tourist destination. Instead, they headed for Mrkopalj, a village of 800 people in the mountains near the Slovenian border.

Settling into a quiet life in the Croatian countryside does not prove to be quite the simple affair that Wilson had envisioned however. For starters, the apartment they were promised on arrival is unfinished, and the entire family has to move into a one-room loft with questionable plumbing. Small things – like visits to the grocery store – are a challenge because of the language barrier.

Wilson is funny and realistic about the challenges of traveling with her children in tow. She fearlessly and critically admits her own lapses, which include a harrowing scene where she and Jim realize they unthinkingly came close to driving their children off a cliff. She’s also relentlessly honest about her own struggle to fit in. Although Croatia is the home of her ancestors (and she writes lovingly of her grandmother and great aunts who led her to want return in the first place) it is Jim and the children who find it much easier to settle into life in Mrkopalj. Wilson spends the first part of the book casting about for a way to settle in and meet people, to truly explore the new place she has come so far to visit. She eventually gives herself over to the experience and culture, gardening, baking, and drinking with her neighbors, and the book is as much about her transformation as about her children’s.

As Wilson becomes more comfortable in Mrkopalj, she reaches out to various villagers in search of her family’s history, a search that ultimately leads her to meet some of her remaining relations in the area. Again, Wilson doesn’t flinch when she describes these emotional meetings, some of which were hard for her children and none of which really provides the simple answers she thinks she is looking for. In fact, nothing about Croatia proves to be simple, the history muddied almost beyond comprehension. Wilson discovers that simple ideas about “good guys” and “bad guys” become immaterial when asking villagers who lived through World War II and the conflicts of the later 20^th century to discuss their experiences.

What does happen, however, is that Wilson and her family step altogether outside the modern American way of living. Adults and children alike abandon structure and schedule for endless playdates and long coffee breaks. Unbelievable amounts of grilled meat and homemade liquor are consumed. (Wilson’s descriptions of food are another strong point: “Jim and I ordered hunter’s stew and bacon with a side of sausage and sauerkraut over boiled potatoes. It was an oily mess of goodness that we ate until our faces were slick.”) Zadie and Sam, who on the first day are chastised by their parents for trying to cross the village road by themselves, end up running and playing freely with Robert’s children. Wilson doesn’t exactly look on the experience with rose-colored glasses – she’s well aware of the limitations and frustrations that life in the village presents (especially since the men are mostly hard drinking and the women do much of the work). But she clearly delights in the ways her children change – Zadie abandons her tendency toward tantrums and starts to read. Sam learns to play pretend games using only his fingers. Both children become less demanding as they are treated to continuous access to their parents and the other adults in the village.

Wilson’s real genius is for writing about people. Whether she is describing encounters with more incidental characters like the ancient priest who requires a bribe before he’ll let her look up her ancestors in the church’s genealogy, the Book of Names, or lovingly showcasing her husband Jim’s easy competence as he makes American hamburgers for their friends in Mrkopalj, it is Wilson’s people who center her story and make it meaningful. With the exception of the extremely likeable Jim, the most compelling person in the book is the family’s landlord Robert, a drunken father of three who owns a café in Mrkopalj and whose dramatic and outsize personality dominates the narrative. Moody Robert, a one-time singer in a rock and roll band is bawdy, disorganized, generous, sexist, and intense. He also speaks English, leaving the family reliant on him for help in navigating their new surroundings. Robert barrels through the book, now joyous, now too blue to make a proper cup of coffee, a singing, staggering metaphor for Croatia itself.

The narrative in this book isn’t linear and it is complicated with Croatian words (despite persistent – and somewhat distracting – attempts to include pronunciation, I concluded from reading it that Croatian is mystifying and about as dense with consonants as a language can be) and Wilson’s ongoing epiphanies about herself and the place. She learns multiple lessons as the book unfolds, and the reader comes along on that ride with her. I sometimes wished for a bit more of a clear timeline or sense of what Wilson was trying exactly to accomplish, but I think that ultimately I’m glad she left things a bit disorganized, because it lends credence to the entire experience. This is not a tidy travelogue about going from points A to Z. Instead it is a messy exploration of what it means to visit an alien place and to find the ways you are meant to fit in.

This engaging book would make a nice gift for anyone who is thinking about long-term travel with their children – especially anyone who is planning to visit countries where the culture, landscape, language, and food are unfamiliar. But it also is a great read for the armchair traveler or the parent who is interested in examining contemporary American family life. Wilson asks some hard questions about identity and while she may not have all the answers, Running Away to Home definitely offers a rich exploration of what it can mean.

Purchase Running Away to Home or visit Jennifer Wilson’s site where you can see video and more photos from the family’s trip. And for another take on the book, read the review at A Traveler’s Library.

I received a free review copy of Running Away to Home. The opinions expressed here are, as always, my own.

So in case you hadn’t noticed, because perhaps it snuck up on you, next week begins the holiday travel season. My first-born (who is now on the downward slope of nine heading for ten so fast it makes my head spin) was half a year old for his first Thanksgiving and Christmas. At that time, blogs were in their infancy and I also hadn’t quite reached the stage in my relationship with the Interwebs that I automatically sought parenting information there. Which is to say that I never once looked up anything online about traveling with small children at the holidays. Some of this may have been hubris because we had taken a six-week road trip with Tommy during the preceding summer and I thought I knew it all. Some of it may have just been willful ignorance. And some of it may have been blinding fatigue.

In any event, I don’t remember seeking advice about planning or packing or gear or any of that – we just piled things into the car and went. Looking back now I realize that we had enough with us to amuse, clothe, and feed a flotilla of babies. My methodology was less “what essentials should I bring?” but “why shouldn’t I bring diapers for a month? Give me one good reason!”

I do wonder now at our fearlessness and energy. For Thanksgiving that year, we drove 9 hours each way to and from Vermont. And this was only a warm-up for Christmas, when we drove (in our small, smelly, stick-shift Saturn sedan) from Delaware to Wisconsin and back again. If you’re counting, that’s about 14 hours each way, probably more like 17 if you add in stops for nursing and diaper changes and so forth. My favorite part about this latter journey is that Matt and I decided there was simple no way we could go for ten days without Tommy’s exersaucer, which he loved to play in. So we actually borrowed a box to strap to the top of the car for the sole purpose of carrying this unwieldy piece of equipment. Could we have borrowed one in Wisconsin? Purchased one and donated it to a church for less than we paid in extra gas? Simply done without for that vacation? I’ll never know the answers to these questions, but I do know that the poor handling of the car gave us something to bicker and complain about for the duration of the drive.

It’s obvious that I didn’t need any travel advice!

Now that my children are older, it is in many ways much easier to travel with them. They are both used to long car trips (as I think I’ve made clear here, we started them young) and complain little even during marathon sessions on the New Jersey Turnpike when things have slowed to a crawl. They don’t require nearly as much special gear – huge car seats have been replaced with small boosters, there are no bottles or jars of baby food to think about, and diapers are of course a thing of the long-ago past. And (Hallelujah!) they can both read to themselves.

But if the physical side of family holiday travel is easier, the emotional side is less so. Like me, the boys now have memories and expectations. They want things to be the same from year to year – even when that is not possible. And they now pick up on the inevitable tensions that arise when lots of family members who don’t share the same opinions about much of anything are under one roof for days at a time. I love our holiday trips. But the shedding of baby gear has not necessarily meant that they any less complicated.

In any event, I’m grateful to all of those wonderful bloggers out there now telling parents how best to travel with their children at the holidays. There are so many amazing and practical tips that truly will make your life easier! But I still stay that the most essential pieces of holiday travel advice I have to offer those of you with little ones are these: Fear Not and Live In The Moment.

For ultimately, no matter what you forget, or how runny your child’s nose is, or whether or not naps get missed, or even if you have to listen to hours of yelling in the car, you will inevitably be glad that you went and you will remember and by grateful for the good and simple things. As I page through the photos of Tommy’s first holiday season and see him pictured with loved ones, especially those who are no longer with us, I know that this is true. And there is part of me that longs for that time, when I indulged in hours of worry about his sleep schedule and the ability to find the right brand of organic baby food, when wrapping paper was a toy, and when the holidays were distilled into the simple essence of a baby’s smile.

I started blogging here just over three years ago, without much of a plan. What started as a creative outlet in the face of an unsuccessful attempt to sell a conventional book about traveling for 13 months with a toddler quickly turned into a life-changing force in my household – one that’s kept us traveling and offered me more opportunities than I ever could have imagined it would. As I approach my 500^th blog post (this one is number 491), it’s fun to take a trip down memory lane. I hope you’ll enjoy reading these posts as much as I enjoyed choosing them. And many thanks to Tripbase and the bloggers who tagged me for inspiring this post.

Most Beautiful Travel Post – Paris is our oyster

This post captures everything that I loved about our family visit to Paris – the magic of the Eiffel Tower, ice cream on the Ile Saint-Louis, and most importantly, the way my children fell as wholeheartedly in love with the city as I had nearly 20 years previously. This was our first family trip to Europe and the first trip I blogged about too, so it brings back so many happy memories.

Most Popular Travel Post – LEGOs in Paradise

I think that lots of people must be interested in both LEGOs and visiting the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas, because this post about my trip there with Teddy is consistently in my top ten posts. The entire trip was amazing – we swam with dolphins, spent lots of time looking at marine life, and enjoyed the many pools Atlantis has to offer. But it was the partnership with LEGO that was one of the best aspects of the trip. Teddy loved helping to create the huge mural, “meeting” the giant LEGO scuba diver, and also going on the scavenger hunt. Atlantis Resort continues to offer many of these activities at their summer fantasy camp; I haven’t shared that fact with Teddy who would head back there in a heartbeat.

Most Controversial Travel Post – True confessions of a traveling mom

This was really a stretch for me because I don’t really “do” controversial here. (Which begs the question readers – would you like me to? If so, feel free to tell me in the comments). It’s not that I don’t believe in the value of controversy or even have strong opinions, but since my main goal is to inspire not agitate, I think I tend to keep my more strident thoughts to myself. That said, I consider this to be my most controversial post because it’s one where I admit something about myself I’m not very proud of. And if you’d like to find out what that is, you’re just going to have to read it.

Most Helpful Travel Post – How to pack only carry-on bags for air travel

When I published this post, a support group I could have called Overpackers Anonymous basically started on my Facebook page. I was shocked to see how many other travel bloggers admitted to packing too much when they travel! My report from the trenches after two weeks in Great Britain with only carry-on bags has all the tips you need to get through security and onto an airplane with both your kids and all the toiletries and shoes you’ll need for that family vacation. I’ve sworn off checked luggage and urge you to do the same.

Travel Post Whose Success Surprised Me – How to take kids to an art museum

Going to art museums with my kids has always felt so natural to me, but I wasn’t sure how interested other parents would be in this topic. I was surprised – and pleased – to see the enthusiastic response I got to this post where I offer tips on helping children enjoy looking at art. I also love all the suggestions in the comments, which I think really add to the post and will help any parent who wants to take children to an art museum.

Post That Didn’t Get the Attention It Deserved – Road trip tip: Eating on the road

I’m sharing one post here from my Road Trip series, but I really feel like all of these posts offer lots of great information about how to take long driving trips with kids. We’re genuine, old-school road trip veterans over here – my children have circled the Midwest multiple times in small, uncomfortable vehicles without screens. And most importantly, they’ve liked it.

Travel Post I’m Most Proud Of – What my mother taught me about travel

I am proud of this post because it contains my late mother’s lovely sketches; sharing her legacy is important to me. But the post also captures an important piece of what makes me a traveler and a blogger today – and also what I hope to share with my own children.

Tag! You’re it!

Like a chain letter, each of us has been asked to tag other bloggers so we can read what they have to say. I’ve picked some of my favorite bloggers from Best Family Travel Advice whose blogs I admire and I can’t wait to see what they excavate for us. Without further ado, the baton goes to:

Amy Whitley of Pit Stops for Kids

Colleen Lanin of Travel Mamas

Michelle Duffy of WanderMom

Anne Patrone of 500 Places With Kids

Meg Keough of Backpack to Buggy

The boys were impeccable hosts. Teddy made each of them a picture – Raouia got a parrot and Manale a rocket ship and had them waiting at the table, which he carefully set. When our guest arrived, they were first required to try their hand at throwing an American baseball into Tommy’s pitch-back.

This was followed by a full tour of the premises (so they could see what an American house looks like of course). Over dinner we discussed what flavors of ice cream they have in Tunisia and Lebanon and when they eat lunch.

Then we all had to look at Google Earth together. The boys wanted to show Raouia and Manale how they had looked up their home countries that morning. And we had to show them some pictures of Vermont.

It’s always a pleasure to meet the young people who come on these programs. They arrive eager to learn and optimistic in spite of considerable challenges. Raouia, who studies English literature in Tunisia, had to endure disrupted studies during this past year’s political upheaval. And Manale, who was selected for the program because she is one of Lebanon’s top university students (she studies medical law) is a Palestinian refugee. She showed us that her refugee status is clearly stamped on her passport and explained that this means she is denied full citizenship and voting rights – despite the fact that her family has been there since 1948. Both expressed an eager desire to change the situation in their home countries and gratitude for the chance to spend time in the United States. And they loved the boys. I think the feeling was mutual.

I ask you – if this is our future, how bad can that future be?

Lately Wendy has been all about family travel tips. Not only did she publish her own A to Z guide for traveling with kids, she has issued a call for others to share their family travel knowledge. The best part is that by doing so, you can be entered to win a $16,000 Caribbean vacation for four. The contest ends May 3 at 5 EST, so there’s still time to share your tip if you want to enter.

This Monday, I decided to create my own list, this one focused on inspiration and fun from day trips to road trips with kids. I hope you’ll enjoy – and I hope you’ll enter to win that fabulous vacation. Now that’s a Monday dream I’m sure everyone can get behind!

A is for Atlas. Invest in a kid-friendly one and map your trip routes together before you go (or just use it to dream about places you’d like to visit!).

B is for Books. Before you leave on a trip, find age-appropriate books about its history and share them with your kids. Last year before we visited Great Britain, my boys really enjoyed the Horrible Histories series. When we arrived at the Tower of London, my oldest looked eagerly for Traitor’s Gate while the younger one wanted to see Henry VIII’s armor.

C is for Collage. Collect brochures, maps, and other print materials at the various attractions you visit during your trip. When you get home, invite your children to cut out words and pictures and make their own collages. Assemble these into a book or binder and they’ve got their own family travel picture book.

D is for Detours. Sometimes you get lost or stuck in a traffic jam. Don’t be afraid to make the most of these situations by turning off of your planned path and finding a new one.

E is for Enjoying the journey, not just the destination. When it comes to long trips, attitude is everything. Think of the hours in the car or on the plane as special family time. You’re all together without interruptions and can share music, stories, or play silly games. When else do we have our children’s undivided attention or they ours?

F is for Finding Fun wherever you are. In my family we’ve been known to play catch at rest areas along the Pennsylvania Turnpike.

G is for Get your wiggles out. Kids can enjoy some pretty grown up situations, from long car rides to art museum trips. But no matter how old they are, they’ll behave better if they have a chance at regular intervals to run around a little. Seek out nearby parks and playgrounds or even rest areas (see “F”) for this purpose if it’s possible.

H is for Hotels. Think back to when you were little. What was more fun and exciting than staying in a hotel? If you can’t afford the time or money to take a big trip, try scheduling a quick family getaway a few towns over. Find a hotel with a pool and a fun restaurant and your kids will be thrilled.

I is for I Spy. Whether you’re stuck in line or in the car, this old standby can keep children amused for a long time. Vary it by adding themes like the alphabet or colors. I once spent a good half hour looking for animals in the floor of Sainte-Chapelle in Paris (before I went there with my three-year-old, I had never noticed these gorgeous and detailed mosaics).

J is for Just go. Sometimes the trickiest thing about traveling with children is getting out the door. At least once a month I try to take the children on a spontaneous day trip where I just throw some snacks and sun block in the pack and head off on a surprise outing.

L is for Local attractions. Don’t think you have to travel great distances to show your kids the world. Have they been to your town’s history museum? How about that small art gallery you’ve driven past a million times? Even a trip to a nearby ethnic restaurant or grocery store can be a way to go global without hopping on a plane.

M is for Music. Create themed playlists for your road trips that you debut on the first day of your trip. You can include music you already own but also browse iTunes for songs you didn’t even know you wanted. Past playlists for our family have included songs from the 1950s, a mix of Motown and Beach Boys songs, and pop music from my high school years. The best part? They serve as an audio souvenir of your experience.

N is for Nature. Whether you are visiting a botanical garden, state park, or local walking trail, gettingoutside is always a great way to travel with kids. And don’t think you have to be far out in the country either – some of my favorite nature experiences have been urban hikes.

O is for Oops! I forgot. You will forget something you thought was critical. Either you can replace it on the road or do without it.

P is for Post cards. Kids love to write and send post cards to their friends and family; don’t forget to stash a few addresses before you leave so that you can mail them from the road.

Q is for know when to Quit. A good rule of thumb for family travel is to treat every place you visit like you’ll be back. Instead of trying to see everything, see what you can that day, bearing in mind that your children were up at 4 a.m. or haven’t had a nap.

R is for Relax the Rules. A little sugar never hurt anyone, nor did missing a bath. And I’m pretty sure that the extra TV you let your kids watch in the hotel isn’t going to affect their chances of getting into Harvard.

S is for Snacks. Snacks can be the difference between a successful outing with kids and a complete disaster, but it can be trickier to keep snacks on hand when you’re staying in a hotel or have been on the road for days. Breakfast buffets are great sources of snack food, so don’t be afraid to stock up there (love those little boxes of cereal!).

T is for Treasures. (Also known as free souvenirs.) My children love to find pebbles, bottle caps, bits of polished glass, and beautiful twigs. I’ve got decorative jars full of their treasures, which serve as visual reminders of all the places we’ve been.

U is for Understanding that kids are kids. Don’t expect that your travel will be just like it was before you had children. Or that traveling with a three-year-old will be like traveling with an infant.

Traveling with kids is a constantly evolving process. Meet them where they are at this moment in their development and you won’t be disappointed.

V is for Visiting friends and family. Some of the best trips we’ve taken have been to visit friends or family who live far away. Let them play tour guide and show off their towns. Play games together. Watch your children connect with people who are meaningful to you.

W is for Write about it. Every night of your trip ask your children to write down their favorite thing about the day (if your children are too little to write, have them draw pictures, or record their thoughts for them). Just capturing one or two sentences each day will give your child a personal record of their trip that they can read for months and years afterward.

X is for eXpect more from your kids. Not every aspect of your trip has to cater exactly to your children’s interests and needs. Remember that your family is the first community your children have to learn to live in, and that this involves compromise. It’s OK to ask your children to visit a more “grown-up” museum or attraction, as long as you balance that with activities that are fun for them. We did this last summer in Windsor, England, spending a day at Windsor Castle and then a day at Legoland.

Y is for You’ll always be glad you went. I’ve never gotten home from a trip with my kids – long or short – and thought “well that was a waste of time and money.”

Z is for Zeal. If you aren’t enthusiastic and willing to learn, how can you expect your kids to be? Act like you’re having a good time and they’ll follow your cues.

First, some context. When we were driving to Vermont, we stopped at the rest area that is just across the border from Massachusetts so that Tommy could use the facilities (of course, he had just gone 45 minutes before, but one never argues with a child who says he has to pee). When he and Matt returned to the car, Tommy’s arms were full of maps. You probably know the kind – designed for tourists, they are not drawn to scale, and (in the case of the Vermont ones at least) have pictures of hikers and mountains with ski trails and people riding horses and hot-air balloons. All around the borders are advertisements for the businesses that are drawn in tiny detail along each town’s roads. They are kind of like a 2-dimensional diorama, perfect for a first grader.

Tommy kept his pile of maps handy in the back seat for the duration of our trip. He would pore over them as we drove from here to there and would periodically offer comments such as:

“Hey Daddy, did you know that the Lookout Bar and Grill serves the world’s greatest soups, salads, sandwiches, burgers and entrees?” (pronounced ehn-treez)

Or

“Mama! Casey’s Caboose has free wings daily!”

Occasionally he would see a place that he recognized, which always led to gleeful announcements such as, “Look! The Morse Farm! They have the best maple creemees in Vermont! Did you know that they are ‘Montpelier’s Sugarhouse?’” Followed by a loud smack of his lips as if he could taste the syrup then and there.

There are a lot of things I can say about this. Like don’t underestimate the entertainment value of free rest-stop brochures on a long car trip. Or kids will read the darndest things. Or even who knew that the Chieftan Motor Inn in Lebanon, New Hampshire has both an outdoor swimming pool and grills for family barbeques?

But to me the message here is clear. As soon as your children are able to participate actively (and it’s probably when they are younger than you think), involve them in the trip. Talk about where you are going before, during, and after. Show them the place on a map and give them a sense of the route you will take to get there. Let them express their opinions about the things you are planning to do and talk with them about what they thought when you are finished. Help them remember what they liked and didn’t like.

I have internal maps that point the way to all of the places I’ve visited and loved, an inner landscape that I revisit in my mind on pedestrian days when the world seems uninspired. It makes me happy to know that I am helping my children create their own maps. I like to think of them as a way to make them fearless adventurers because every good explorer knows that part of why you go somewhere new is to learn about it, to know it intimately, to map it.

If you enjoyed this post, I hope you’ll visit the others in this series:

What I learned on my summer vacation #1

What I learned on my summer vacation #2

What I learned on my summer vacation #3

What I learned on my summer vacation #4

I of course had to chuckle at this. And never fear; my fourth tip is not “When you travel, try to be a perfect couple, like me and Matt.” No indeed. My tip is this: Be prepared for at least one fight with your significant other.

At some point during the trip, you and your spouse, partner, or what have you will not be able to stand the sight of each other. Now this didn’t happen when Matt and I were in Paris, mostly because we were in Paris, but also because Matt was working and wasn’t around all the time. It also didn’t hurt that Caroline was there to help and that we were going out and drinking a bottle of wine every night. But on family trips, road trips, where you spend hours in the car together, hours in the rental house, cabin, or hotel room together, hours amusing the children together when it rains again, hours when you have to come up with yet another plan of what to do in case it rains, hours were you are not fooling around EVER because the children are always there watching you, you will not escape thinking things like this:

Why is it always up to me to map out our route and get the opening hours right? Hmm? Must you turn on the TV right now? What I wouldn’t give to have some peace and quiet. Oh, thanks for giving the kids another Pop Tart – they’ll never get to sleep now. Haven’t you ever heard about the sugar/hyperactivity connection? Do you really need to sneeze five times in a row? I’m going to hide that remote, I really am. Can I get your attention for five minutes so we can discuss our plan for tomorrow Because if I don’t come up with one, we’ll all be sitting here staring at each other. And that would make me CRAZY!

Mostly Matt and I have a great time when we are on the road together. We both love to be with the boys and we enjoy each other’s company. But it would be dishonest of me not to admit that at least once on every trip we have a spat. Sometimes it might last even an entire day or two. But I’ve learned after years of traveling with Matt, both before and after children, that we will always kiss and make up and then enjoy ourselves. Someone always has to say they are sorry (this time it was me; I had really read him the riot act about making plans as if Little Miss Control Freak was really going to give that up) and someone else always has to make a joke. But then you do and you look across the deck on the first nice evening when you finally get to sit outside and you clink your beer bottles together and enjoy the sunset and realize how lucky you are to be in the place you love with the person you love and all is well in the world.

And for those of you that travel as single parents with young children in particular, I’d like to give you a gold medal, a kiss on the cheek, and a nice cold drink. But I also recommend that when the going gets rough remember that you get to call all the shots and won’t have to argue with anyone about whether you should stop and ask for directions.

If you enjoyed this post, I hope you’ll visit the others in this series:

If you enjoyed this post, I hope you’ll visit the others in this series:

What I learned on my summer vacation #1

What I learned on my summer vacation #2

What I learned on my summer vacation #3

What I learned on my summer vacation #5

• A big bag of wooden blocks
• Another big bag full of wooden train track and trains
• Four puzzles
• Three board games
• Baseball gloves and balls
• A big stack of activity/coloring books, markers, glue, scissors
• A set of dinosaur magnets
• A bag of plastic animals
• A set of K’nex
• Toy cars and trucks
• Whatever other miscellany I’m forgetting

I’ll let you guess where I’m going with this – a place that contradicts what I said yesterday a bit, but hey this is my blog – Tip #3: Your kids don’t need a lot of toys while you are on vacation. Really.

It rained nearly every day we were there, so you would think that all of our toys would have gotten loads of use. But let me tell you, most of it languished underfoot in the very small house we were inhabiting, cluttering the floor and getting in everyone’s way. We did play catch a bit, and the track did get set up on the floor, but the boys mostly wanted to go down by the pond and catch amphibious life or cuddle up with books that we checked out of the local library. (And here’s a freebie tip: we used my dad’s library card, but did you know that most places will let you get a temporary one? It saves a lot of space not having to bring many books.) Oh, and we were a bit more lenient about how much TV we let them watch, but not that much.

Here’s what we needed for three weeks of fun: markers and paper, a bucket, two spades, two nets, a couple of balls, five dice and some Yahtzee scorecards. The house already had some large pillows and extra blankets for making forts, another major source of amusement. I’m really going to try and read this post before we go up to Vermont for Thanksgiving and let each child fill one backpack with toys.

But do you suppose that means I have to limit myself to one pair of shoes?

If you enjoyed this post, I hope you’ll visit the others in this series:

What I learned on my summer vacation #1

What I learned on my summer vacation #2

What I learned on my summer vacation #4

What I learned on my summer vacation #5